Sunday, 5 June 2016

Mindset: Fixed or Growth Part 4 - Parents and Teachers: Where Do Mindsets Come From?

In my recent posts, I have been exploring the theory of growth mindset. This post will focus on Dweck’s chapter on “Teachers and Parents: Where to Mindsets Come From?” Her premise is that as parents and teachers, we have our child’s best interest in mind when we give them praise or constructive criticism. Yet, many of us give praise or criticism that is harmful in engendering a fixed mindset without realizing our mistakes. We have to recognize that everything we say to children gives them a message. It can either be a fixed mindset message telling the child they have permanent trait and that I am judging them, or it can be a growth mindset comment telling them they are a developing person and I am interested in your development.

Consider the following statements:

a)    You learned that so quickly! You’re so smart!
b)    Look at that drawing. David, is he the next Picasso or what?
c)     You’re so brilliant, you got an A without even studying!
Most parents would hear these comments as supportive and booting the child’s self esteem. But listen more closely; this is what the child hears:
a)    If I don’t learn something quickly, I’m not smart.
b)    I shouldn’t try drawing anything hard or they’ll see I’m no Picasso.
c)     I’d better quit studying or they won’t think I am brilliant.

After Dweck studies hundreds of children, she learned that comments like this have adverse effects on the children. “You are so smart!” “You are so talented!” “You are such a natural athlete!” All of these statements promote fixed mindset and do not promote growth and focus on effort.

Consider praise like this:
a)    You really studies for your test and your improvement shows it. You read the material over several times, you outlined it, and you tested yourself on it. It really worked!
b)    I like the way you tried all kinds of strategies on that math problem until you finally got it. You thought of a lot of different ways to do it and found the one that worked!
c)     I like that you took that challenging project for your science class. It will take a lot of work-doing the research, designing the apparatus, buying the parts, and building it. Boy, you are going to learn a lot of great things.
d)    I know that school used to be easy for you and you used to feel like the smart kid all the time. But the truth is that you weren’t using your brain to the fullest. I’m really excite about how you’re stretching yourself now and working to learn hard things.
e)    That homework was so long and involved. I really admire the way you concentrated and finished it.
f)     That picture has so many beautiful colors. Tell me about them.
g)    You put so much thought into this essay. It really makes me understand Shakespeare in a new way.
h)    The passion you put into that piano piece gave me a real feeling of joy. How do you feel when you play it.
When a student doesn’t do so well, consider statements like this:
a)    I liked the effort you put in, but let’s work together some more and figure out what you don’t understand.
b)    We all have different learning curves. It may take more time for you to catch on to this and be comfortable with this material, but if you keep at it like this you will.
c)     Everyone learns in a different way. Let’s keep trying to find the way that works for you.


Reassuring Children
The same principles apply to reassuring a child before a test or performance. Consider a student who is very smart, but often freezes up when taking tests. The night before a test, a parent could say, “Look, you know how smart you are and we know how smart you are. You’ve got this nailed. Now, stop worrying.” They thought they were being supportive, but they were just raising her anxiety level. The parents could have said, “it must be a terrible thing to feel that everyone is evaluating you and you can’t show what you know. We want you to know that we are not evaluating you. We care about your learning, and we know that you’ve learned your stuff. We’re proud that you’ve stuck to it and kept learning.”

Messages About Failure

Consider nine year old girl who is competing in her first gymnastics meet. She is a little nervous, but she is good and felt confident she would do well. She even thought about the place in her room she would place her ribbon when she wins. She proceeds to do well, but doesn’t win any ribbons. What would you say if you were her parents?
a)    Tell her you thought she was the best.
b)    Tell her she was robbed of a ribbon that was rightfully hers.
c)     Reassure her that gymnastics is not that important.
d)    Tell her she has the ability and will surely win next time.
e)    Tell her she didn’t deserve to win.
Unfortunately, many people feel the way to boost a child’s self- esteem is to protect them from failure. While this may help in the immediate problem of a child’s disappointment, it can be harmful in the long term. Why is this? Let’s consider each of the above statements:
a)    This is basically insincere. She was not the best – you know it and she knows it. This offers her no recipe for how to recover or how to improve.
b)    This places blame on others, when in fact, the problem was with her performance, not the judges. Do you want her to grow up blaming others for her deficiencies?
c)     This teaches her to devalue something if she doesn’t do well in it right away. Is this really a message you want to send?
d)    This might be the most dangersous message of all. Does ability automatically take you where you want to go? If she didn’t win this time, why should she win the next one?
e)    This seems hardhearted and you wouldn’t say it quite that bluntly, but that is exactly what one father told his daughter:
“I know how you feel. It’s so disappointing to have your hopes up and to perform your best, but not to win. But you know, you haven’t really earned it yet. There are many girls there who’ve been in gymnastics longer than you and who’ve worked a lot harder than you. If this is something you really want, then it’s something you’ll really have to work for.” He also told her that if she wanted to do gymnastics purely for fun, that is fine too. But if she wanted to excel in competition, more work was required. His daughter moved on to win many competitions.

Constrictive Criticism
Constructive means to help the child fix something. Comments in this area can be very judgemental and focus on the intelligence or character, implying the defects are permanent. Here are some ways to give criticism with a growth-mindset.
a)    Son, it really makes me upset when you don’t do a full job. When do you think you can complete this?
b)    Son, is there something you didn’t understand in the assignment? Would you like me to go over it with you?
c)     Son, I feel sad when I see you missing a chance to learn. Could you think of a way to do this that will help you learn more?
d)    Son, this looks like a really boring assignment. You have my sympathy. Can you think of a way to make it more interesting? Or Let’s try to think of a way that to lessen the pain and still do a good job. Do you have any ideas?

Growth mindset type of teachers love to learn. They view teaching as a wonderful way to learn; about people, about themselves, about the material they teach and about life. Fixed-mindset teachers often think of themselves as finished products. Their role is simply to impart their knowledge.

Some final thoughts for teachers (and parents):
a)    Remember that lowering standards doesn’t raise students’ self- esteem. But neither does raising standards without giving students ways of reaching them. The growth mindset gives you a way to set high standards AND have students reach them.

b)    Do you think of your slower students as kids who will never be able to learn? Do they think of themselves as permanently dumb? Instead, try to figure out what they don’t understand and what learning strategies they don’t have. Remember that great teachers believe in the growth of talent and intelligence, and are fascinated by the process of learning.






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